Not having bad habits is what separates the healthy from the unhealthy couples. — I grew up believing a healthy relationship was all about finding the right person. If a couple wasn’t healthy, it simply meant they weren’t “soulmates.” What I’ve learned, as both a human and as a Relationship Coach, is that healthy relating skills are learned. Some of us are lucky enough…

These tactics, as uncomfy as they may feel, may help you find the kind of happiness I’ve found. — Prior to dating my second husband, I looked back at all of my relationships and all I could see was a slew of dumpster fires. Each one had been unhealthy, abusive, and/or toxic. I’ve since learned that a healthy relationship must include three things: love, trust, and respect, and all…

Steps that allow you to change how you act and show up in future relationships — I woke up in my daughter’s bed in my children’s bedroom. The room was dark, but it’d been early afternoon when I’d crawled into it sobbing. …

What may start out as an occasional indulgence can start to negatively impact your relationships. — I stood and stretched and then turned to my then husband and said, “Are you coming to bed?” He glanced up at me. “No. I’ll probably stay up a little longer.” I sighed and walked to our bedroom. Our sex life had never been great, but it’d been better early…

The impact of childhood abuse can be lifelong. — When my children were infants, my mother would often cradle them against her chest, and I’d wonder, How can you contain both the ability to cradle a baby’s head so tenderly yet also have beaten me, your own daughter, with a metal mop? …

— But strengthened my current one. — I was almost 40 when my son was diagnosed with ADHD. He clearly had it. The boy ran around and talked incessantly, narrating the whole of his existence regardless of the context. When I finally got him in to be tested, the doctor sat us both in a room. The…

How I worked through my experience of “post-traumatic relationship syndrome”. — It was a Thursday night. My partner was heading out the next day on a business trip, and we wouldn’t see each other for a good two weeks. After dinner, he drove us to a Redbox to rent a movie to close out the night. He took the turn into…

ADHD can have a huge impact on a romantic relationship, so it’s important to know all we can to handle it in a healthy fashion. — As a Certified Relationship Coach, I’ve worked with many couples where one or both partners have ADHD. I know too how fascinating and dismaying ADHD can be to a relationship because my own sweetheart has ADHD. ADHD can have a huge impact on a romantic relationship, and it’s important to…

Abusive relationships are a serious issue that affect people of all genders, but men often face additional barriers. — “That’s abuse. You’re being abused,” I said halfway through a session with a client. My client, a competent and successful man who’d come to me for help with his communication issues with his partner, sat back in his chair. “Really?” he said. He ran his fingers through his hair and…