This popular taboo fantasy can be something fun and safe that you and your partner try next in the bedroom. — I was alone in my bedroom. But he must have known that. He must have known that I’d probably go about my nightly routine without a second thought to making sure the kitchen window was latched. I didn’t hear him until he was already in my bedroom. I dropped the…

1. There’s no “normal,” only what’s “normal” to us as individuals. — I grew up in the southern United States after the rise of abstinence-only-until-marriage sex-education programs. We didn’t learn about STDs, contraceptives, or other safe sex practices. We didn’t learn how sex worked or how it could be pleasurable instead of just for conception. …

If our heart has been bulldozed, we might want to swear off relationships altogether, but we shouldn’t. — After some terrible relationships, I avoided them altogether. They seemed to be the equivalent of a throat punch, and who wants to sign up for that? I did eventually, though, put myself out there again. I got married and then it ended disastrously. I could have sworn off relationships altogether…

It was only a matter of time. — I went to a work conference in a town five hours away with Simon, a colleague I knew only casually. It’s normal to hang out with other colleagues at these things, and I didn’t think anything of it when he told me he wanted to skip a session to check…

If you are a man who considers himself a lover of women, make sure you’re acting that way wherever you are, and most especially, in the bedroom. — Roughly 1/3 of women say that at some point they’ve experienced “squirting,” often used interchangeably with the term “female ejaculation.” Though most say it has only happened once or twice. The most obnoxious thing I’ve found from being a squirter myself is that some men are just not into how…

Sometimes the only way we can leave is the coward’s way. — The proper way to leave any relationship is through having a conversation with the other person. You tell them it’s not working for you. You’re clear and concise. You’re even kind. You and they settle whatever needs to be settled. …

If you love your partner, doing these little things can make a huge difference. — Many studies, such as this one, have concluded that how we were raised and what kind of romantic relationship we saw our parents having greatly influences our future romantic successes. My parents have been married for almost 40 years, but they are more roommates that tolerate each other than a…

Is your sexual desire “spontaneous, “responsive,” or a little bit of both? — My partner glanced at me from across the room. Neither of us is a fan of large get-togethers, but we were here together and making the most of it by doing our separate rounds. When we locked eyes, I knew immediately that I wanted to make love and that I…

Because the costs have been too high. — One afternoon while I was supervising carpool, a former student’s parent drove up in his impeccable red Corvette, leaned out the window, and said, “Tara, would you like to go out sometime?” I said to him, “No, I’m sorry. I’m just not dating right now.” The latter wasn’t true, but…